Praise in Parenting

As humans, it is natural that we give more attention to things that appear to be wrong or improper in our environment. It is how we keep ourselves alert and prepared for situations where something may go awry. The same is true in parenting parents. We may find that we often are telling children to stop engaging in certain behaviors, improve upon their current work, or alter their responses. However, as parents, it is extremely important that we also attend to our children’s positive behaviors as well. Of course, if a child is doing something that is inappropriate or dangerous, it is a parent’s job to correct them and take steps to minimize this in the future. However, we should actually be spending even more time commending children on the things they are doing right or well than areas we want them to change.

       Praise is extremely important aspect of parenting. It is a common concern that children who are praised “too much” end up being spoiled or poorly behaved. However, research has shown the exact opposite is true. If a child is consistently punished or scolded for “bad behavior”, they may learn that this behavior is wrong, but they are not given practice in the behavior that would be expected or appreciated. If they are praised and commended on their proper behavior, they are more likely to continue to engage in these positive activities. If they are engaging in these positive activities, they are not engaging the corresponding negative behaviors.

       The first step is to effectively praising your child is to select a behavior that you as a parent would like to see more often. One way to select these behaviors is to think of the behaviors that you would like to see less often, and choose the competing behavior. For example, if your child frequently grabs toys from his brother, praise him for playing nicely with him whenever this occurs. If your child often leaves messes around the house, praise her any time that she puts something away.

       Once you have chosen a behavior to praise, your job is to keep an eye out for it occurring. Whenever it is seen, praise your child very enthusiastically. It should be obvious in your facial expressions, words, and gestures how pleased you are that they have done the desired behavior. Praise should occur immediately following the action in order to ensure that the child links the two. Also, tell the child specifically what behavior you are praising. For example, “Great job! You shared that toy with your brother!” or “Very good, you put the blocks back in the toy chest after playing with them!”      Finally, add a non-verbal element to your praise. Pat your child on the head, squeeze their shoulder, or give them a quick hug.

       At times, you may have selected a behavior, and then this behavior does not occur in order for your for you to offer your enthusiastic, specific praise. In this situation, break your initial chosen behavior into smaller steps. Is your child not sharing with his brother? Praise him for not taking a toy away from him. Is your child not cleaning up their blocks? Praise him for keeping the mess in a certain space. As this praise encourages them to engage in these smaller steps, they pave the way for the larger goal.

       It may also seem that you will have to spend an inordinate amount of time praising children constantly if you choose to begin this process. However, research has shown that praise is a temporary program that results in ongoing behavior change. It is not necessary to continue to praise indefinitely once the child has developed sufficient practice in the positive behavior. Also, it if important to remember that just as all children are unique, the amount of praise they require to effectively change their behavior will be different as well. While some children may quickly respond to basic praise, others may take additional time and larger quantities of praise.

       There are certain types of praise that are generally less effective and even damaging. One type is vacuous praise, or offering praise to your child regardless of their behaviors. Another is praise that is aimed at the child and not at their specific action, such as saying “you are such as good boy” instead of “it is so helpful when you carry in the groceries with me.” Behavior-based affection is also dangerous and can severely effect a child’s security in their relationship with parents, such as telling them “I love you for doing that.” Similarly, a parent’s praise should not be self-focused, such as “you make mom and dad so happy when…”. This makes behavior less likely to generalize to settings where the parent is not present. Finally, ending praising with cutting comments about the child’s typical behaviors, such as “why cant you always be like that?” is dangerous. This devalues the child and the efforts he is making to improve.

       Finally, praise is far more enjoyable for parents to deliver than punishment. When your child feels happy and appreciated, you are more likely to feel good about yourself and your parenting skills as well!

Beth Rutkowski
Lead Clinical Psychologist in LIH Olivia’s Place

The Twilight Series for Teachers at LIH Olivia’s Place is a series of educator-oriented, learning outcome-focused presentations or workshops that takes place once a month during the school year at LIH Olivia’s Place Shanghai.

Topics cover speech & language development and motor development for young children, behavior, learning, executive functioning, and support for children with special needs, and mental health.

Participants receive a Certificate of Attendance.

Our scheduled topics are listed here:

• September: Stimulating Speech and Language Through Play
• October: Dyslexia in the Classroom: Strategies to Support Struggling Students
• November: Using Social Stories and Visual Schedules
• December: Classroom Accommodations for Kids with Autism
• January: How to Help Parents to Choose the Right Rehabilitation Service
• February: Understand and Support Younger Children’s Development——for Kindergartens Teachers
• March: Executive Functioning Skills
• April: Factors Affecting Handwriting
• May: Sensory Integration and Work Behavior

You can also download our most updated schedule for the new school year here: Twilight Series_September 2019 to May 2020_LIHOP.

Time: 5:00 – 6:30 pm

Cost: 100 RMB course/person

To register or sign up for the mailing list, please email to louis.liu@lih-oliviasplace.com

021-6075-3100; 5404-0058

oliviasplace.lih.pub

Location: F3, 1868 Pudong Avenue, Pudong New Area, Shanghai, China

How Teachers Can Help:

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

Beth Rutkowski
Lead Clinical Psychologist in LIH Olivia’s Place

Prioritize Seating

Seat the student away from windows and the door, and near the front of the class.  A seating arrangement in which students are in rows, with focus on the teacher is preferable to students seated around tables or facing one another. For testing or quiet study time, create a quiet area free of distractions for the student to work.

Deliver Lessons Clearly

Give instructions one at a time. Encourage the whole class to ask if they need repetition, and repeat whenever there is a request. If possible, work on the most difficult material early in the day. In addition to teaching verbally, provide visual information such as charts, pictures, and color coded materials.  Create outlines for the student to take notes in class, which organizes the information based on the order in which it is presented.

Minimize Challenges with Work

Create worksheets and tests with fewer items to demonstrate mastery. Instead of long exams, give frequent short quizzes. Reduce the number of timed tests. When possible, test the student in the format that they are best able to represent their knowledge, such as orally or filling in blanks. Divide long-term projects into segments and assign a completion goal for each segment. Offer the opportunity to turn work in late or not fully complete in order to obtain partial credit.

Assist with Organization

Allow time for the student to organize materials and assignments for home. Post a visual reminder of steps to take when getting ready to go home at the end of the day.  Make sure the student has a system for writing down assignments and important dates. Periodically check what the student uses it. Color-code materials for each subject.

Assign a special folder to be checked each day with communication between home and school, such as behavior reports, permission slips, project descriptions, etc.

Start the Lesson on the Right Foot

Signal the start of a lesson with a cue such as a chime or a bell. Establish eye contact with the student who has ADHD. Use their first name to get their attention. List the activities of the lesson on the board, and add pictures when possible. Tell students what they’re going to learn and what your expectations are. Make sure students know exactly what materials they’ll need.

Teach with Accommodations

Keep instructions simple and structured. Use props, charts, and other visual aids whenever possible. Include different kinds of activities and allow breaks. Have an unobtrusive cue set up to indicate to their student when they are off-task, such as touching them on the shoulder.  Summarize key points at the end of the lesson. If you give an assignment, have three different students repeat it, then have the class say it in unison, and put it on the board. Be specific about what to take home.

Allow for Movement

Allow the student to move around or fidget, preferably by creating reasons for the movement. Provide opportunities for physical action- do an errand, wash the blackboard, get a drink of water, go to the bathroom, etc. If this is not practical, then permit the student to play with small objects kept in their desks that can be manipulated quietly, such as a soft squeeze ball, if it isn’t too distracting.

Partner with Parents

For best results, teachers must partner with the parents to ensure that their child is ready to learn in the classroom. Have regular communication via in person meetings, phone calls or email. Use a daily or weekly report, if helpful. Provide feedback on any concerns regarding medication effectiveness or worsening symptoms.

Parenting Through Relocation and School Changes

       Starting a new school can be an exciting and challenging process, and every child’s experiences are different. While
never predictable, there are steps you can take as a parent to help ease the transition. 

       Prior to the change, keep your child informed and involved. Talk with them about schools you are considering or have selected. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and remind them that it is okay to be sad or angry. If your child seems fixated on the negatives, remind them of some of the positives. The goal here is not to force them to change their feelings, but to help them understand that both advantages and disadvantages exist. For example, talk to your child about programs or teams at the new school that they might enjoy.

       If your child is leaving friendships at a previous school, let them know that these relationships do not have to end. Remind them of all the ways to keep in touch- email, Skype, phone calls and WeChat. Have them practice contacting friends using these methods while still at the same school, making it more tangible and realistic. If the friends are still living nearby, investigate clubs or activities they can take part in together outside of school. If your family is moving, plan to reconnect in the summer or at holidays. Make these plans ahead of time so your child has them to look forward to on tough days,

       Before the first day of classes, find out if the school provides a campus tour for new students. If they don’t, request permission to walk the school grounds with your child. Identify where the important things are, making the first day of classes less intimidating. Ensure your child knows how to get to school and practice any routes together. If English isn’t your child’s first language, investigate support programs and services that can help. Introduce yourself to the people who will be working with your child, such as their principal, teacher, or counselor.

       Once school begins, ensure that your child has the right equipment, clothes and books. This avoids any additional feelings of ostracism. Help them get organized. If they become overwhelmed, assist them with breaking down assignments or projects into manageable tasks. If your child is having trouble keeping up with academic expectations, recognize that this is common with changing schools. Normalize the need for additional help, and help your child find a tutor or get engaged with learning support. Attend any parent nights or conferences, and request additional meetings about ongoing concerns.

       While never easy, your child’s adjustment to a new school can be as smooth as possible with your your support and assistance.

Beth Rutkowski
Lead Clinical Psychologist in LIH Olivia’s Place

What are the cognitive benefits of integrating with nature?

In the last two decades children are gradually spending more time playing video games or staring at computer screens and this has been a perpetuating problem in modern society.Richard Louv, author of the book, ‘Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder’,tells the story of interviewing a child who told him that he liked playing indoors more than outdoors ‘because that’s where all the electrical outlets are.”

This culture of sitting for long periods playing games on various media such as IPad, phones, games consoles and watching television, usually while munching calorie dense snacks has led to childhood obesity and serious health threats for children including type 2 diabetes, heart diseases, sleep apnea as well as social and psychological problems. According to data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES) and the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 17 percentof children and adolescents aged 2 to 19 are obese, a number that has tripled since 1980. The average American child is said to spend 4 to 7 minutes a day in unstructured play outdoors, and over 7 hours a day in front of a screen.

In the past decades the benefits of connecting with nature has been well documented in many scientific studies and publications. This body of research shows that children’s social, psychological, academic and physical health is influenced in a positive way when they have daily interaction with nature. The research by Faber Taylor, A., Kuo, F. E.,Sullivan, W.C, (2001) supported the hypothesis that: Attention deficit symptoms will be more manageable after activities in green settings than after activities in other settings.‘Nature is important to children’s development in every major way- intellectually, emotionally, socially, spiritually and physically’. (Kellert, 2005).

How can interacting with nature improve a child’s self-esteem?

Many studies show the positive links between direct experiences in nature and children’s mental, emotional and physical health and well-being. These studies show that regular direct access to nature can have benefits in the following areas of a child’s development:

Benefits to cognitive development:

Proximity to, views of and daily exposure to natural settings increases children’s ability to focus and enhances cognitive ability (Wells 2000). Nature activates more senses and awakens a child’s multi-sensory interaction with the environment for examples through visual input of multiple arrays of colors, olfactory experiences linked to visual and tactile input such as looking at and touching leaves and flowers.  “As the young spend less and less of their lives in natural surroundings, their senses narrow,” Louv warns, “and this reduces the richness of human experience.” Children develop a special sense of wonder when they interact with nature. This nurtures their inquisitiveness and encourages more exploration of the world around them.

Early experiences with the natural world have been positively linked with the development of imagination and a sense of wonder. A sense of wonder is an important motivator for life-ling learning. Children who spend time in well-designed nature-filled outdoor spaces with nurturing adults develop valuable skills across all learning domains, Miller, D.L (2007)

Benefits to academic performance

Studies in the US show that use of outdoor classrooms and other forms of nature-based experiential education support significant gain in; social studies, science, language arts and math. Students in outdoor science programs improved their science testing scores by 27% (American institute of research, 2005)

Benefits to creativity and problem solving

Studies of children in school yards found that children engage in more creative forms of play in the green areas, they also played more cooperatively (Bell and Dyment, 2006). Play in nature is especially important for developing capacities for creativity, problem and intellectual development (Cellert 2005). When children are presented with opportunities for unstructured style of play, this allows them to interact meaningfully with their surroundings. They can think more freely, design their own activities, and approach the world in inventive ways.

A number of authors talk about the importance of the middle years (6 to 12 years old) for the development of the child’s relationship with the natural world. This is a time where the sense of wonder of early childhood is transformed to a sense of exploration.Research found that participation with nature before age 11 is particularly potent in shaping both environmental attitudes and behaviors in adulthood. This foundation of empathy and connection with nature may then extend into environmentally responsible actions and empowerment, as the child grows older and discovers opportunities to develop pro-environmental behaviors.

In this era of technology, do you see nature as a healthy contrast to excessive screen time?

Nature is a healthy contrast to excessive screen time

A number of recent international surveys indicate that fewer children are experiencing nature directly, with the majority of children playing indoors more often than out. The surveys highlight that many young people are ‘glued to the virtual world’ and are far removed from nature, lacking knowledge of biodiversity and awareness of its importance.The average American child is said to spend 4 to 7 minutes a day in unstructured play outdoors, and over 7 hours a day in front of a screen.Studies conclude that further effort is needed to make nature more available to children, and to inform and empower a future generation of environmental champions.

Screen time reduces outdoor time: The first 2 years of life are seen as critical for brain development. Electronic media such as TV and IPad can interfere with exploration outdoors, interaction with peers and other people which affects social and physical development. For the older child, too much screen time can interfere with outdoor physical activity, homework, playing with friends and family (Kidshealth.org September 2010). The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under 2 years old not watch any TV and those older than 2 years watch no more than 1 to 2 hours a day of quality programming.

Do you think there is a link between increased exercise and an outdoor lifestyle?

Benefits to physical well-being

Children who regularly have positive personal experiences with the natural world show more advanced motor fitness, including coordination, balance and agility, Fjortoft, Ingunn (2001). Outdoor exercise is better for children than indoors:Exercise can release endorphins into the blood stream which has a soothing effect and can help with the production of melatonin which helps with better sleep. Outdoor play encourages activities such as running, climbing, pushing, and pulling which promote muscle fitness and flexibility. ‘Children who experience school grounds with diverse natural settings are more physically active—more aware of nutrition, more civil to one another, and more creative’ (Bell and Dyment, 2006)

Interacting with nature gets children moving. Most ways of interacting with nature involve more exercisethan sitting on the couch. Not only is exercise good for kids’ bodies, but it appears to make them more focused, which is especially beneficial for children with ADHD.

Benefits to your child’s self-esteem

Interacting with nature builds confidence. The way that children play in nature is less structured than most types of indoor play. There are infinite ways to interact with outdoor environments, from the playing in the backyard or park to going on a walk or fishing at a lake. It reduces stress and fatigue and cultures a fit body and curious mind. According to the ‘Attention Restoration Theory’, urban environments require what’s called directed attention, which forces us to ignore distractions and exhausts our brains. In natural environments, we practice an effortless type of attention known as soft fascination that creates feelings of pleasure, not fatigue.

There is growing evidence that children are increasingly disconnected from the natural world. Without direct experiences in nature, research findings suggest that children are missing opportunities to enhance their health and well-being, and to develop responsible long-term environmental behavior.

Incorporating nature more into the curriculum in schools

“First-hand experiences can help to makesubjects more vivid and interesting for pupils and enhancetheir understanding which prepares them for the next stage of their lives. Teaching concepts using nature brings in a child’s multiple senses and supports interest in learning. Concepts can be taught in a practical way such as performing mathematical operations such as dividing, multiplication, fractions etc. using plants, animals and natural matter. Language teaching can be vividly and concretely supported using nature e.g. teaching descriptive and categorization language concepts (Blank levels-Marion Blank). Academic concepts such as volume, quantity, length, size, weight, are better understood by children when taught in a practical hands-on way that incorporates all other senses and this is suitably achieved through use of nature.

Getting a little dirty in the great outdoors, far from being a bad thing, helps children lead happier, healthier lives.

When we let our children play in dirt, we’re not only allowing them to explore the wonders around them, we are also exposing them to healthy bacteria, parasites, and viruses that will inevitably create a much stronger immune system. Many kids who live in an ultra-clean environment have a greater chance of suffering from allergies, asthma, and other autoimmune diseases that we would otherwise be protected from through the simple pleasure of playing with some nice common dirt.

Studies have shown that simply having contact with dirt, whether it is through gardening, digging holes, or making pies out of mud, can significantly improve a child’s mood and reduce anxiety and stress. With antidepressant use in kids on the rise, an increasing number of experts are recognizing the role of nature in enhancing kids’ mental health. Dirt can even improve classroom performance.

What benefits can nature have on a child’s Health? 

Too much time indoors leads to health issues: There is a high prevalence of vitamin D deficiency (“the sunshine vitamin”) among infants, children, and adolescents worldwide. Too much time spent indoors keeps children from getting enough sunshine exposure. Vitamin D deficiency is a risk for rickets and may be a risk factor for developing cardio-vascular diseases, cancer or autoimmune conditions, (Huh S, Gordon CM)

More time spent outdoors is related to reduced rates of nearsightedness, also known as myophia, in children and adolescents (American Academy of ophthalmology, 2011)

Time spent outdoors improves social relations. Children will be smarter, better able to get along with others, healthier and happier when they have a regular opportunities for free and unconstructed play in the outdoors.

Outdoor play increases fitness levels and builds active and healthy bodies. Being outside improves distance vision and lowers the chance of nearsightedness. Research also shows that children who grow their own food are more likely to eat fruits and vegetables and show higher levels of knowledge about nutrition (Waliczek and Zajicek, 2006). They are also more likely to continue healthy eating habits throughout their lives (Morris and Zidenburg-cherr, 2002)

Contact with the natural world can significantly reduce symptoms of attention deficit disorder in children as young as five years (Kuo and Taylor, 2005)

Research has also shown that through positive experiences in nature, children will develop their love of nature and a foundation for the development of responsible environmental behavior.

Research has shown that empathy with and love of nature grows out of children’s regular contact with the natural world. Hands-on, informal, self-initiated exploration and discovery in local, familiar environments are often described as the best ways to engage and inspire children and cultivate asense of wonder.

What would you recommend for parents who want their children to interact more with nature?

Recommendations for parents to encourage children’s interaction with nature.

• Visit favorite local nature spots such as Central Park, Chenshan Botanical garden and Gucun park all in Shanghai
• Make a habit of going on hikes, riding, fishing with your family. Make a regular plan to do something with nature.
• Dress appropriately to encourage children to interact with nature e.g. putting on wellies for playing in wet conditions.
• Use nature to create art in a way that does not destroy the environment e.g. using dead leaves, sticks etc. to make models.
• Allow your child to get dirty while exploring nature. Let your child get wet, climb rocks, jump in puddles taking manageable risks which is important for their development.
• Use observations of nature to teach your child and develop curiosity e.g. regarding texture, seasons, why some leaves are green and others are a variety of colors, the rain cycle, how plants make food and breathe.
• Bring your child’s camera, IPad along so that they may learn a different way of using electronic gadgets and capture memories of nature which can be shared with family and school.
• If possible, grow your own plants and develop your child’s understanding of the importance of nature to our well-being.
• Teach your child names of plants, animals as well as seasons and the plants associated with the seasons.

Dennis Mlambo
Therapy Director & Speech- Language Therapist in LIH Olivia’s Place

Dear Friends of LIH Olivia’s Place,

As we are reaching the end of the school year of 2018-2019, I would like to first congratulate all the 719 children who have made progress with us over the last year.

Nelson Chow, CEO of LIH Olivia’s Place, is giving the speech in the national Down’s Syndrome Forum

This year is a year of our rapid growth and development. I would like to share with you some of the successes along the way.

In Sept 2018 we saw the first child with Autism under our therapy fitting into a mainstream bilingual kindergarten. He has made very good progress with his challenging behaviors, and also rapidly catching up with his language development. We are working closely with his educators to continue the interventions at the kindergarten. Next year is the final year of his kindergarten and we hope we can support him transitioning into a mainstream school.

In Nov 2018, LIH Olivia’s Place have officially become the pediatric rehabilitation center for Shanghai Mental Health Center

In Nov 2018, we have officially become the pediatric rehabilitation center for Shanghai Mental Health Center which is the biggest mental health center. This does not only mark the recognition of our quality of services, but also enables us to
access the much needed local mental health and support resources.

In Jan 2019, we have initiated our new operation model to help us look after more patients by using a tiered services model, so that the senior therapists can take ownership of the clients and supervise the junior staff to deliver the therapy program. This enables us to support more clients with more efficiency and higher quality. We have also implemented a new documentation system which measures the therapy outcome for each episode of care.

In March 2019, we have reduced our waiting time – the days from first contact to first appointment to an average of less than 5 days. We also supported SENISH (Special Education Network in Shanghai) with an educational event with three of our clinicians presenting with totaling of more than 50 years of experience in special needs.

By June 2019, we have supported more than 5000 children with more than 50,000 therapy hours over the last 9 years. We have also made the first record to conduct more than 900 hours of therapy in one school year at a single school. We have also conducted a total of 62 workshops to support teachers and parents in this academic year.

Our Deputy General Manager is giving a speech in international school fair

We also saw that we have many areas of improvement. The first is the communication with our clients and our partners. Whilst we respect confidentiality and privacy of the clients, it’s in all children’s interest to ensure the best communication between parents, educators and ourselves. We have built new referral mechanisms and communication pathways to ensure the improvement for the next year.

We know also that every child becomes attached emotionally to their therapist, and our therapists and us feel the same. Unfortunately, there have been some staffing changes over the last year with various reasons. Although we have made every effort to make every transition smooth, there may have been some disruptions. We would like to apologize about this. Reassuringly though, every child has made progress under our care based on our outcome reporting system.

Finally we would like to thank you for your continued trust and support, and help us to serve you better in the coming years! Wish you all a happy summer holiday! Safe travels for those of you travelling!

Best Regards

Hao Lu
Deputy General Manager
LIH Olivia’s Place Shanghai